"Though he is no Oscar Wilde, Kray's 'Hello Clive' letters provide a fascinating insight into his time in jail."

This is so easily the best thing I've read in ages. Imagine stumbling on Reggie Kray's "Hello Clive" letters. Like those were the letters your grandfather had kept in a box under his bed, along with those lovely paintings. My best is when he says: "Hello Clive, So hows things going at the new place*. Same old shit here mate."
I love the Kray Twins. I feel like they are a lie created to make me pleased. JD Salinger said that thing about being "a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.” It sounds a bit twee and Joyfully Childlike, but I always like that he said that, especially when you think about what a miserable old hermit he was meant to be, and it does perfectly sum up my feelings about the Krays. It's terrible to say, but an article like this makes it hard to believe that the world doesn't revolve around me. There are so many things in it that are so entirely up my street that I find it hard to believe that it wasn't written with me, specifically, in mind. An article like this makes it hard to believe that I'm not in the Truman Show.

It's nice that Clive is described as Reggie Kray's "gopher". I like to think of Clive as his batman. I mean a batman like the sort of slave upper class soldiers had in the First World War.
JRR Tolkien "famously" had one. I'm sure lots of other people did as well, like Wilfred Owen and things, but you can't really look up anything about batmans on google without trawling through a whole lot of stuff about The Dark Knight.

The other thing I like to think of is Keith Talent's alsatian called Clive in that book called London Fields. Especially that bit when he wants to name his new baby (a girl) either "Keithina" or "Clive". I hope the character of that dog was actually written in homage to Reggie Kray's batman. Keith Talent and Reggie Kray are right off the same conveyor belt, obviously.

So to sum up: the plan called Make Rosie Laugh For A Bit On The 21st August 2010 (concocted by Martin Amis, Wilfred Owen, Reggie Kray and the criminal underclass of 1960s London, alsatians, The Lord Of The Rings, and a famous London auction house) has worked. Congratulations to everyone involved.

*Clive's new prison.