It's always a bit hard getting ready to go out if my mum is the only person that I can ask whether I look all right, because she always just says that of course I look beautiful. And even if we both know that this is clearly not the case, she will never admit. And sometimes I give up, and other times I sort of press her and try get her to confirm my suspicions about my little outfit. Like I'll ask her if I look like a swimmer, and she'll say noooooo, or I'll ask her if I look like a Durban academic, and she'll say Christ No. And even though I never really get anywhere, at least I can see that she knows basically what I am driving at. But the question that I ask probably the most, which is "Do I look like a nice pig in high heels?" is only ever met with this totally, totally baffled expression. Like not only would she never concede that I could EVER look like a pig in high heels, she actually has no idea what even I mean. She always just says "what?" in the most incredulous way imaginable, as if I'd suddenly just stopped speaking English or something.
So. This is what I mean. This is just exactly what I mean. This is What We Talk About When We Talk About Looking Like A Pig In High Heels.
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