I can't remember where I read this*, but there is a Rule which says that before you submit any piece of writing, you have to read the whole thing out loud in a stupid voice and see if it can stand up to that kind of abuse. If it can't, then you have to go back and start again. My mum just sent me this essay I wrote in my Honours year, which I am probably going to have to resubmit as part of my Master's application, and I have spent the morning reading it to myself in my stupidest voice and I just want to SCREAM. What was wrong with me that I was so smug? And why didn't anyone TELL ME. This is like when you look in the mirror HOURS after you have eaten your dinner and there is a HUGE piece of pepper between your front teeth and you have been talking and talking and talking and then you hate everyone for not telling you.


* I wish I did