yesterday mae sent me a message that said "Ziggy ate a bath bomb, do you think he'll be all right?"

And I just added it to my list of reasons I am scared to ever have a baby. The list goes:
1. Swimming pools
2. Plastic packets
3. edges of any description
4. unfriendly dogs
5. solid food
6. what is wrong with me that my wild imagination can find no rest and must ceaselessly search for ways a small baby can hurt itself?*
7. bath bombs now

* Last weekend in the berg, all the people you would expect went for a Punishing Hike up Bamboo (my dad, felix, jason, philip) and failed to return at the time everyone thought they would. Also they failed to make themselves visible at ANY point. At no point could anyone see them at all. So my mum started going "Okay now I am worried. Now my imagination is galloping away with me." And Lesley said, "Can't you just slow it down to a walk?", and my mum said, "a walk? It's never going any slower than a trot." and I thought yes that is just about the size of it.

I thought one of them had maybe been bitten by a snake, and that felix had convinced them to let him perform emergency snake medicine on top of the mountain.** Or else that one of them had been gored by an Eland, and that felix had convinced them to let him perform emergency Eland medicine using a rocky outcrop as an operating table.

another time in the berg a whole lot of people went up Bamboo, and everyone came back when they should except my parents. I stood on the verandah on my tiptoes for like two hours anxiously sort of scanning the mountain, failed to see them even once and convinced myself that they had fallen into a big hole. My first sighting of them was when I saw a faraway person throw a red thing over a fence, and I thought oh my god there's dad throwing mum's exhausted form over the fence. Maybe she broke her legs.

It was not her exhausted form it was only her puffy jacket. She was extremely tired and pissed off though.

** I asked Felix about this later.
me: how do you perform emergency snake medicine?
felix: you get in your car and you go to the hospital
me: what no making a cross over the wound and sucking out the poison
felix: you do that in your car on the way to the hospital